May 29th, 2020 – We found out we were having a boy. To be super honest, I couldn’t believe it. I had no idea how to raise a boy! I’ve had two girls. I only know unicorns, rainbows, giggles, dresses and bows. Phil reminded me there are super heroes and comic-con. He had already dreamt about taking Jonah to comic-con in St. Louis. None the less, I decided I needed to crochet a blanket for our baby boy. We didn’t have a name or room decor in mind yet, but I knew that creating something for my little one would get the ball rolling.
I chose my favorite yarn, Caron Simply Soft. A favorite color of mine is Pewter, a silvery grey. Perfect as a base for little boy projects. Then I found a lovely soft mint and a robin’s egg blue. I added in some white because the pattern I chose needed one more color. It usually takes me some time to make a baby blanket, but I was so excited, I made Jonah’s blanket in just 1 week. It was perfect! I didn’t care if it would or wouldn’t match anything else we did for his room or bedding. I made it for my little boy. I finished it on the Friday before Father’s Day, and we found out that he had passed the Tuesday after.
It’s honestly a blessing that I finished that blanket. I don’t think I’d be able to bring myself to finish it after losing him. During the week after we “had” him, I touched the blanket, held it, cried over it. It has been more of a comfort to me than I would have thought. I’m glad I was so excited. I’m glad I’ve had it to hold.
Phil asked me what we should do with the blanket. My heart is still hopeful that one day, a child will be wrapped in it. We aren’t making any big decisions right now, as we grieve over Jonah. Maybe we will have another child of our own? Or perhaps we will foster and adopt a child? One day at a time. For now, I’ll hold it tight when I need to.
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